Weekly Recap: “Humorous Speech Contest”

This week’s meeting was a little more formal than our regulars. In fact, this meeting was different for a few reasons, and by a few reasons I mean just one fundamental reason. September 26^th was our Electric Toaster’s Humorous Speech and Table Topics Contests. It was yet another week full of impromptu role volunteering, and as always our attending members stepped to the plate.

There was no Thought of the Day, so instead I stole a quote from our Toastmaster Craig: “Truthfully that is the best way to get the most out of Toastmasters—to just jump right in and go for the gusto.”

I think it’s worth taking a moment to acknowledge that Craig really walks his talk on the subject. For as long as I’ve been attending our Toastmasters chapter he’s been consistently stepping up to fill roles on the fly, often some of the more difficult ones on the spot. So my hat’s off to you.

ANNOUNCEMENT: We have an official new member: Greg Bingham. Welcome to ET!

HUMOROUS SPEECH CONTEST

The Skinny: Firstly, the content of each speech had to be original to qualify in the contest. Each of the three contestants required a timing of 5 – 7 minutes. Contestants whose speeches were less than 4 ½ minutes or longer than 7 ½ minutes would be disqualified. Appointed judges would mark up points based off of the criteria rubric they’d been handed. The appointed counter, Jean, would then tally up the scores to determine the winners. The order of each speech’s deliver was selected at random. 

Contestant 1: Karen Groth – Outhouses, Mice, and Other Critters

Karen volunteered to do this speech about a minute or two before she delivered it. She told us about growing up in her parents’ farmhouse. They had an outhouse out there, and her experience in it caused her to live in mortal terror of spiders, which I assume must’ve been crawling all over her. She had a high point with mice, albeit short-lived. It was when a mother mouse that ran past her with three baby mice trailing behind. Apparently, since then mice have organized an association dedicated to harassing her. 

She told us about her place at the beach. They love to eat her kitchen towels, her cleaning clothes, and her sofas. Evidently they don’t like Kleenex for some peculiar reason. My guess is out of reverence to the Great Green Arkleseizure, who sneezed out the universe (See Douglas Adam’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy). One day a chipmunk came running into Karen’s house (looking for Dale, no doubt). She and her husband had quite a difficult time shooing it out. 

They’ve also had trouble with baby squirrels nesting in the roof. Her husband barricaded the hole, and then the mother squirrel began screaming bloody murder. They figured it must’ve meant there were still baby squirrels in there so they unblocked it to let them out. Then they put the barricade back up. Mama squirrel started screaming again. This cycle went on until finally all the babies left. 

Karen wraps up her speech by informing us that she doesn’t like Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, or any of their children. Clearly, Karen is no fan of rodents, but they all seem quite fond of her. Well... of her house, anyway.

Contestant 2: Craig Jones – Twenty Pounds of Trouble

 

Over the course of their marriage, Craig and his wife have had several dogs. They were always big dogs, and they were always outside dogs. Finally they decided one day to adopt a small dog: a beshon-shitzu mix weighing about twenty pounds. Her name was Lucy Lu. As soon as they brought her home they immediately realized that a name like that didn’t appropriately fit the character of their new dog. The more fitting name they came up with is [drum roll]… Night Terror! No, I’m lying; they renamed her to Sassy. 

She was their first dog ever to be allowed in the house, being that she is hypoallergenic. Sassy likes to tease the cat by running up to its face and fall back before it can land a swipe at her. One of Craig’s favorites things about Sassy is that every day when he gets home, she’s staring out the window looking out for his car, and when she sees him, she knows it’s time to play. Sassy will grab a small chew-bone, and he’ll chase her across the hardwood floor, which causes her to slip and slide all over the place until she finally reaches a patch of carpet. 

Another is the classic fake-out. Holding the bone, he throws his arm but keeps it in his hand, and Sassy bolts down the hall after it. By the time he tosses it for real she realizes she’s too far away. So she turns back to run towards it, but her momentum over the frictionless surface causes her body to continue that direction as she runs backwards (Jackson’s got nothing on her). 

Sassy loves Craig’s son’s dog, PD (short for ‘Pug Dog’). When they drive to visit his son she knows from two blocks away and goes wild. As soon as the door opens she’s bursting through the hall and chasing after him around the house. For a few minutes anyway, until her little body is depleted and she crashes for a while. And the she goes wild again.

Contestant 3: Mike Fajen – Swap Meet Mania

 

Growing up, Mike’s parents were devout churchgoers, but sometimes they would take a Sunday off and go to the Swap Meet at the Drive-In Theatre. He described the experience to be, “as colorful and diverse as the Star Wars bar scene.” One time there was a “potential gold mine” of a booth in particular that caught his eye: booth 122. Loaded with bikes, stereos, ham radio equipment, and CBs, he joyously began rummaging to look for a price tag. Then he heard a voice [insert grouchy voice], “get your hands off the goods!” His brother, who was examining a skateboard for sale, was similarly treated. Mike explained that all he wanted was just to know the prices. The grump didn’t care; he rudely stated it was too expensive for them and to pike off. The two were shocked at this man’s crudeness, but later they hatched a mischievous plan to teach him a lesson. 

One of the features of the swap meet was the announcements that came on the radio, usually mundane and repetitive. So they went into the snack shack to inquire about how expensive it would be to air an announcement. “Three repeats for twenty-five cents.” So they paid the quarter and wrote out an announcement. Several announcements came and went, but they never heard the one they wrote. Mike thought maybe they’d checked to verify it first. Then they finally heard it:

“Attention bargain hunters, everything in booth 122 is free. The man wants to go home. Please help yourself, so that he may pack up and leave.”

People from all over the swap meet came running for that booth. He was shouting and cursing and grabbing his stuff back from people. Each time the announcement was repeated the chaos grew as more and more people coagulated around his booth, driving the man insane. He yelled and argued with people, and tried putting a box over his booth number, which was taken off. Not too long after the last repeat he and his brother decided to get out while the gettin’ was good. 

TABLE TOPICS CONTEST:

Four of us volunteered to participate in the Table Topics Contest. The order was decided by each of us chooses a number between 1 and 20. Greg was selected to go first, the other three of us ushered outside the room to wait until we were called upon. One by one we came in and delivered our best topic speech based off the question. Again, there was a timing limit of 1 – 2 minutes, and going over meant disqualification.

The contest question delivered by Jeff Brookes: “Close your eyes and think of the outdoors, when thinking of beauty, size, or something that greatly impacted you, what do you see. Why did it impact you?”

Contestant 1: Greg – Told us about working controls at Mt. Bachelor, working night and day shifts until the job was done. In mid-summer, he was standing on the mountain, overlooking the horizon as the sun was setting/rising (he couldn’t remember which). He also remembers that experience because of an accident that next day that he called “one of [his] almost greatest failures.”

Contestant 2: Ben – Trying to think of something better, what kept surfacing was a summer day I spent in John Day. At age ten I went bicycling with family up a small mountain. Taking a break, we took a picture next to a huge boulder, and headed back. Going downhill, my speeding bike got trapped in a tractor track until I crashed into a rock that sent me flying off. The bike had horns on the ends of the handles and one snagged my pants in the groin. I avalanched down the hill, pulling my bike down with me.

Contestant 3: Myron – Originally from Seattle, when asked the question, two things come to mind for Myron. They are Mt. Rainier and Mt. Hood. As time continues to pass he feels that the effect of those two mountains has only increased. Both he and his father have climbed Mt. Rainier, and has climbed Mt. Hood a couple of times as well. “Somehow it just astounds me that there’s this big gigantic mass of ice and rock… not so far from a relatively major metropolitan area.”

Contestant 4: Shannon – Shannon grew up at her grandma’s in rural Ohio. She’s always loved the outdoors and would often be found playing by the creek in the woods behind the house. As an adult she often feels like she never has a moment’s peace to herself. To relax from the stresses of daily life she loves to retreat into the wild. In fact, she was happy to share that later that afternoon she would be escaping to Sauvies Island. One of the reasons she enjoys it so much there is because it reminds her of the area she grew up in. 

CHUCK NORRIS:

After all the speeches and table topics contest speeches were made, it took a few minutes for all the points to be tallied up and the contest winners announced. Fortunately, I came in prepared with some Chuck Norris jokes in the event that we needed time to burn. So while the winners were being determined I told this joke: “Chuck Norris’s calendar goes from March 31^st to April 2^nd, because nobody fools Chuck Norris.”

CONTEST WINNERS: 

The winners of today’s two contests, Mike Fajen for the Humorous Speech, and Myron Peto for the Table Topics, will be representing the Electric Toasters chapter as they move on to the next stage of the contest. Second place winners Craig and Shannon will be on standby to replace them if need be, should they for some reason can’t make it. Congratulations!

THE HUMOROUS SPEECH CONTEST
1^st - Mike Fajen
2^nd - Craig Jones
3^rd - Karen Groth

THE TABLE TOPICS CONTEST
1^st - Myron
2^nd - Shannon
3^rd - Ben

Westport's Masterpiece by Karen Groth

By now you may have heard that our chapter has its very own published author. A few months ago Karen Groth stood up in front of us and told us about her book, Westport’s Masterpiece: Building the Grays Harbor Lighthouse, 1897 – 1898. It is my pleasure to present her work here on her behalf!

Westport’s Masterpiece is a 164 page nonfiction account following Carl W. Leick, an exceptional architect responsible for the construction of several lighthouses in the northwest. The Grays Harbor Lighthouse is considered to have been his masterpiece, and so the book follows its construction.

Karen drew her inspiration from the journal she discovered at the National Archives in Seattle. She then unearthed several letters in Washington DC, and copies of the original plans at the Coast Guard’s archives in California. She even obtained family photographs. Clearly Karen had done her homework with a resourceful tenacity akin of an investigative journalist.

Karen provides us with a brief synopsis:

In 1897, the Yukon gold rush rages as a superb tower is constructed on Washington's coast.  Outstanding Portland lighthouse architect, Carl W. Leick, records his arguments with Seattle contractor, Charles J. Erickson, in a daily journal kept during the construction at Westport, Washington.

     Westport’s Masterpiece describes how nineteenth century masonry lighthouses were built using horses and hand tools.  Interviews with stonecutters, tinners, horseshoers and others explain building terms and procedures that are no longer used.

     The local papers gleefully report every misstep from the huge stone that fell onto the dock, to the plaster that fell off the newly cemented tower.  Nor is there a lack of colorful personalities, from the judge who who a pony express rider to the French clockmaker who moved into a palace.  

Excerpt: Aberdeen Herald of December 9, 1897

The peace and quietness of this burgh has been disturbed by a 'little unpleasantness' between the lighthouse superintending architect and Contractor Erickson. The trouble has been brewing for sometime. Those two skilled workmen didn't see all things with one eye, and the misunderstanding culminated last week in the superintendent, who is a large and powerful German-American with a quick temper, squeezing the windpipe of the contractor, who is an undersized Swedish-American, and a peacerful man. Result; a case before His Honor T. F. Thompson, and a fine of $3 and costs; rather a high priced temper for these hard times. . .

Westport’s Masterpiece: Building the Grays Harbor Lighthouse, 1897-1898 by Karen Groth can be purchased online at Powell’s Bookstore and AbeBooks, and is being sold at prices ranging from $12.50 - $24.95.

Weekly Recap: "Don't Sweat the Petty Things"

“…And don’t pet the sweaty things, either.” Jason wisely pointed out.

This week’s ‘Word of the Day,’ sanguine, has been brought to you by Grammarian Jessica. Sanguine is defined as cheerful and optimistic, it also means bloody and ruddy-faced (and I think I may have been the only one today who forgot to use it!).

ANNOUNCEMENT: Toastmaster Jeff informed us today that there will be two upcoming contests for Toastmasters: the Table Topics and the Humorous Speech contest. The Electric Toasters Table Topics contest will start September 19th. The winner of our local chapter will represent us in the finals. More info will be provided when possible, including sign ups, so keep your peepers open for it.

SPEAKERS:

Our opening speaker Craig bid us “Welcome to the Wonderful World of Toastmasters.” Last week it was brought to light that there was some confusion about the processes of how Toastmasters works. This particularly included assigning the agenda. Today Craig gave us a lot of clarity about the inner workings, and what resources are available to us. He also shed some light for us on approaching our Competent Communication and Competent Leadership handbooks. I won’t elaborate further, as either Craig or I will share the details in its own post. In his parting words, Craig reminded us that, as is the case in most (if not all) facets of life, what we get out of Toastmasters is equivalent to what we put in. 

Next Robert conveyed a moral tale about how, with training, you can conquer fear. In storytelling format he told us about a threatening scuba incident he experienced several years ago. His mask had been leaking as he descended into the depths. By the time he reached the bottom, it had progressed into a serious problem. In his unsuccessful struggle to blow the water out of his mask, losing precious air in the process, he was also pulled off course by the current. The situation got desperate and he decided to head back for the surface. His dive computer beeped at him incessantly, however, indicating that he was ascending too fast. It was important that he heed the warning. Were he to rise too fast would have resulted in serious health issues. As tempting as it was to panic, Robert remembered his training, and kept calm by ascending at a crawl’s pace. In the end he made it back safely (obviously). He later learned that even the most experienced divers have gone through situations similar to his own.

“Let’s Play ‘Hide the Pickle’” was the promising title Jason chose for his speech, and it did not disappoint. Jason’s humorous account (designed to cater to a younger audience) focused on various legends surrounding the mystery of the “Christmas Pickle” ornament. The first told of a German immigrant who served as a union private during the US Civil War. He was captured and, dying in a prison camp from starvation and illness, pleaded to a Confederate guard on Christmas Eve for a pickle as his last wish. The guard conceded, and snuck for him a pickle, which led to a miraculous recovery. After his release, the union soldier hung a pickle on the Christmas tree in remembrance of that day. The second legend tells of two Spanish school children who got lost in an unfamiliar area. They stopped at an inn, but the innkeeper was evil and tricked them. After trapping them in pickle-barrels he stole their belongings and left them there, until Saint Nick found them and released them with his magical staff.

‘Don’t Sweat the Petty Things’ TABLE TOPICS:

Susannah comes from a long line of worriers, and feels that in the past worrying has steered her away from experiences that would have been engaging, challenging, and would have helped her to grow. Therefore she feels it’s overall better not to worry so much, and concluded with a quote “I’m a very old man, and I have worried about many things, most of which never happened.”

Greg used to work for a transmission provider, so he knows plenty of what it’s like to worry about every possible thing that could go wrong. In his experience, regulations aimed at preventing bad things from happening, inadvertently backfired, having caused those very things to happen. Drawing from those experiences, he concludes that worrying too much about something can definitely cause it to happen.

EVALUATIONS:

Eric acclaimed Craig for having broken down the ET internet presence that he, and other newer members, hadn’t known or misperceived about the resources available to us. He also echoed what Craig had said, that “what you get is what you put into it.”

Wei praised Robert for his strong storytelling form and powerful delivery. Wei also made note of his colorful range of vocabulary, having used no notes in the delivery of his speech.

Mike applauded Jason for his entertaining delivery, and noted his great use of imagery. Mike also acclaimed him for having a very natural speaking presence and tone of voice.

Karen took up the General Evaluator role at the last minute, and did a great job. She praised Eric’s evaluation of Craig, noting his emphatic voice. She gave cheer to Wei’s consistent steady pace. Lastly, she acknowledged Mike for always having a very relaxed disposition up at the podium.

THIS WEEK'S AWARDS:

• Best Speaker Awarded to Jason Kent. 
• Best Evaluator Awarded to Mike Fajen.
• Best Table Topics Awarded to Susannah [?].

Weekly Recap: "I'd Rather Be at the Circus..."

…Was the conclusion Karen came to as this week’s Toastmaster. She took the original ambiguous theme “Would you rather” and gave it her own twist, focusing on the big top, obviously! Throughout the meeting she provided more information about the history of origins of the circus than I thought possible. This included the use and treatment of elephants and the invention of ‘fairy-floss’—err, cotton candy. 

And like a circus, today’s meeting was a little chaotic, as only three of us were there to fill our roles today. Everyone else had to perform multiple roles on the spot! There was a lot of role-juggling, and a special mention goes out to Jessica. She managed to acrobatically handle… I don’t know—5 roles(?) all in one meeting, and did a fantastic job!

This week’s ‘Word of the Day,’ extravagant, was provided by Grammarian Scott, which was well suited to the circus theme. Jeff's ‘Thought of the Day’ goes as follows: 

Savor what we have today, because that’s what we have today. Tomorrow’s going to come no matter what… So look forward to and embrace what is coming forward, because there’s not much we can do about it.

SPEAKERS:

We also had a special guest appearance from new ‘Area Governor’ Max Lopez, whose duties at Toastmasters is to ‘visit all the local chapters and take notes,’ as former Area Governor Jeff put it. Both Max and Jeff delivered superb impromptu speeches. Jeff took the stage first, using Eric’s setup question to launch into a speech about commercial real estate, offering advice about investing in the purchasing and trading of businesses. 

Next Max took the spotlight, and gave an inspiring speech which talked about how his boss’s suggestion led him to Toastmasters, that he used to have a stutter, and what it was like as he fought through and overcame it. It is worth noting that he never stuttered during this speech and, as Jessica (his evaluator) noted, nobody would have known that he ever had a stuttering issue. 

I can’t imagine how much more intense the difficulty of public speaking would have been for me to have the added encumbrance of a stammer. I can’t confidently say I could see myself doing it, but he did. Not only did he overcome that obstacle, he’s picked up some notable speaking accomplishments along the way. Good for you, Max. 

‘Would You Rather’ TABLE TOPICS:

Eric, though hard-pressed to decide, would ultimately rather lose every debate but be right, rather than win every argument and be wrong, chiefly due to his opposition to presenting misinformation. Kayla knew the clear choice was to blather like Yoda rather than breathe like Darth Vader, and ‘work she would to her advantage of it she’d make.’ Craig argued that rather than live in a world of complete security at the cost of freedom, or vice versa, he’d prefer to live in an America overseen by a benevolent dictator that ensured security but gave some freedoms. Super competitive Jessica told us she’d rather go onto a game show over a reality series, and would meticulously destroy her opposition. Ryan told us that when he finds a lion in his room, he’d pass by the banjo, whip, and barstool, and blind it into submission with a laser-pointer, then make his getaway. 

EVALUATIONS:                                                                                                    

                                       

Craig served as evaluator for Jeff, crediting him for his ‘Gift of Gab’ skills. Next Jessica evaluated Max, giving praise for immediately changing the energy and ‘warmed up the room.’ General Evaluator Eric explained how the agenda assignment works (in reply to Scott's query), and commended Jessica’s point about avoiding the use of jargon acronyms. 

THIS WEEK'S AWARDS:

• Best Speaker Awarded to Max Lopez.
• Best Evaluator Awarded to Jessica Zahnow.
• Best Table Topics Awarded to Eric Williams.

Electric Toasters Blog 2.0

I believe it was on my first visit that current Treasurer Craig Jones delivered a speech outlining his initiative to ratchet up the Electric Toaster’s online presence. I remember it involved a big easel traced with diagrams sprawled over several pages through which he flipped back and forth, gestured with a lot of pointing. We in the audience nodded, grunting in agreement to this sentiment with a lot of head bobbing. Wrapping up his proposition, he asked of any volunteers, which was met with a lot of sideways glances in attempt to look away inconspicuously, acting as if deep in thought or suddenly late for a meeting. No?—that was just me then? In any case, that was in late March I think. 

Two months ago I presented my icebreaker speech. Though primarily focusing on my love for quantum mechanics, it incorporated my aspiration for writing with it. Afterwards Craig offered me the privilege and opportunity to contribute to this blog. There are two obvious inferences to be assumed, those being: (1) I accepted his invitation, and (2) I took my time getting this introductory post started (being this was two months ago). Sorry about that second bit. 

So a little about myself, my name is Ben. I turned 25 as of July, and have been a contractor at PGE for about two and half years now. After studying at PSU for two years I went broke and decided that an English degree with $40k of debt didn’t look like a promising future (though when able I’ve been taking classes in Computer Science). I tend to be shy around people I’m unfamiliar with, something I am trying to improve upon, which is one of the initial reasons I joined Toastmasters. 

There are several professions I’m personally enamored with (too many, actually); dominant among them is the aforementioned desire to write. Don’t worry, there’s no need to anguish in apprehension at the possibility that I might use an indubitably ostentatious display of flamboyantly superfluous vernacular in a meager attempt of pretentiously superimposing a fallacious air of sophistication—that would be erroneous.

It’s fair to say we come to Toastmasters looking to take something for ourselves. That obvious ‘something’ is, of course, to improve our public speaking skills. However, there are other motives that may very well bring us here as well. Some might include networking, leadership skills, buffing up resumes, making new friends, or even just going out and trying something new. Whatever your particular motivations might be, all different kinds of people come to Toastmasters for the same primary purpose.

Though speaking is central to Toastmasters’s focus, we should encourage and foster an environment that’s not only comfortable and friendly. Moreover we ought to strive for a club you can say you’re a part of, not just one you attend. In my personal opinion this contrast separates the clubs that thrive from the ones that merely survive. This is so because it inspires a sense of loyalty between members and the organization itself that is mutually beneficial. 

That having been said, it is this very distinction that ET leadership, my co-contributors, and I hope to help achieve for the Electric Toasters chapter. How do we aim to do this, you ask? 

1.     More, More, More! – The plan is to add a higher frequency of posts, spanning over a larger spectrum of topics, from a wider range of contributors (such as myself). 

 

2.     Member Networking – Did you know that Karen wrote a book about lighthouses? Or that ET President Mike invented his own gadget for keeping bicyclists safe? This kind of information should be available here for your perusal, and when possible we will endeavor to make it so. 

3.     New Member Introductions – Given consent, we will welcome new members to the club, offering them a proper introduction, supplying a little information about them (whatever they choose to share). 

4.     Typical Blog Content – Short essays, tricks and tips, 10 Steps to Blah-Blah-ing your Blah, all the usual suspects. Important announcements and other such bulletin board type material will be posted as well, where needed.

5.     Weekly Summary Reports – Pretty much explains itself; we’ll draw highlights on each speech, word-of-the-day’s, and so on (I’ll leave out the grammarian’s report). Honestly, this one’s a bit stickier, being as none of us will attend every week’s meetings, so count on seeing some inconsistency here.

Okay, so what are you trying to do again, you ask?

The goal is to make this blog a member-interactive experience. Something that’s not a strict exhibition to public speaking, but is inclusive to its members in such a way that if we're lucky we just might have people visiting one-tenth of the number of times they check their Facebook page. 

A little overly ambitious for sure, but that’s where we could use your help! if you’ve got something to say: a suggestion, a topic you’d like explored, a question to pose or advice to offer, or a story to share,  whatever it is let us know! Leave a comment if it relates directly to the post, or contact one of us directly. 

Thanks for reading, keep an eye out for more content heading your way!